Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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