She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
