You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize