thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Sponge bath it is.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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