and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
