dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
