we have pet lesbian snakes
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
false alarm. still invincible.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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