he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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