I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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