Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
