Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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