Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
two words...techno handjob
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
