which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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