you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
