just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
