I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
