Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
