He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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