Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
