So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
