Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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