I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Found the puke drawer
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
