I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize