it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize