hotel room ftw
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
