My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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