I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
