Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
where does the pee come out of this thing
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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