Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
