You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
