some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize