What a fucking waste of an outfit
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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