you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
