so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize