Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
