We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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