My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The best revenge is premature balding
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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