i'm signing you up for texting rehab
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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