I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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