no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
