you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
