She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
