Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize