Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
