Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
