Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
