He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize