I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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