dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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