I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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