yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
