Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
