your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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