i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
