I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
the condom got lost in my hair
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
