just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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