i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
