There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
