a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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