I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
