okay pat passed out under dana's car
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i out mim tonsoeep
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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